“Make note of things to avoid”

March 19, 2011

Today’s Bit of Advice….

“Make note of things to avoid”

Don’t you wish life came with an instruction manual so you’d know what to do, what not to do, and how to do it the right way?  I sure do.  It would save me soooo much time.

So, to help you out, I’m providing a list of things you want to avoid in your quest to live a simple, happy, productive life.

1.       Avoid joining any committee or organizational boards.  The time spent doing good for others will have to come from somewhere.  In my case it comes from vacuuming, dusting, laundry, and cooking.  And, while I don’t mind missing out on those activities, some people in my home are pretty annoyed about the whole thing.

2.       Avoid washing red and pink items with the whites.  No explanation necessary.

3.       Avoid having three children.  One child fine.  Two children can play together or chose to play separately.  Three children?  There will always be a group of two who are friends and the third is left out.  The grouping changes throughout the day but someone is always the loser.  Just keep going for the fourth child. You’ll have more options.

4.       Avoid letting your husband repair the plumbing or heating.  Men use more force than necessary to move stuck parts.  In the end, the stuck part moves but only because it has been broken off of the original attachment. 

5.       Avoid running a Kleenex through the clothes dryer.  Likewise, avoid drying crayons, disposable diapers, cough drops, and wrist watches.  However, money seems to come out just fine.

6.       Avoid people who make you crazy.  If their whining, lying, and irresponsibility makes you nuts, stay away.   You’ll sleep better at night.

7.       As for sleep, avoid buying bad pillows.  The resulting kink in your neck and shoulder that lasts seven days or closer to a week is a big pain in the ….. well, neck.

8.       Avoid shopping at the grocery store or Wal-Mart on Saturday, Sunday, Friday night, before a snow storm, and within a week of Christmas or Easter.  There is nothing so important to purchase that you should expose yourself to the insanity.  Stores that are open 24 hours a day are your friend.  Try going at 10pm.  You’ll have to stay up a little later but there won’t be anyone there to bother you.  The lines are shorter.  It’s so much nicer.

9.       Avoid hitting a hole-in-one on the 9^th hole at the miniature golf course.  My husband learned the hard way that the ensuing jump for joy can lead to a sprained ankle.  And it’s really embarrassing to explain to others that you are on crutches for a mini-golf injury!

10.   Avoid dropping the telephone onto the laptop keyboard.  The computer will make a VERY loud noise, will “dump physical memory”, and the key that pops off will not go back on.

What other advice do you have to share to make my life easier?

Hope you enjoyed the read.