“How to Raise a Successful 10 Year Old Boy”

March 13, 2011

Today’s Bit of Advice

“How to Raise a Successful 10 Year Old Boy”

I have ten years of experience as a mother.  The wisdom I have developed in that period of time is greater than I would have expected.  Like other new parents, I thought I knew quite a bit about raising a healthy and successful child.  How hard could it really be?

Well, it was a lot harder than I expected.  Kids don’t read parenting books to know what they should be doing at each stage.  They make up their own schedules and plans.  A good parent has to be able to think quickly and try things that may or may not work.  But a parent who sits back to think about what to do is a parent who misses the opportunity to do what needs doing.

So I have spent ten years developing wisdom and learning what works (and a lot about what doesn’t work!).  My bits of advice for today include some of the things parents should know about how to raise a successful ten year old boy.  Here goes:

1.       Teach the definitions of B.O and P.U. early on.  This will allow you to use them as code later on.  For example:  “P.U.!  You’ve got B.O.!”  This translates easily into “Get into the shower right now and use soap on every part of your body.  Please include shampoo on the hair.”

2.       Give portion size requirements prior to attending a party or buffet.  Children need to know that they may only eat the same number of shrimp as their age.  A ten year old boy may only have ten shrimp.

3.       Teeth must be brushed every day.  Twice a day is even better.  Flossing daily is also a nice thing to do.  Just because you cannot see bacteria on your teeth does not mean that it is not present.  Cavities hurt.   Fillings hurt.  And they are expensive.

4.       If your child asks if he can go on a four-day trip to Baltimore with the Boy Scouts that he just met last week, tell him no.  Then think about it more later, talk about it with your spouse, and sign up for the trip in secret.  Wait a week and then tell him he can go.  The joy you’ll see on his face is even better than it would have been originally.  And you can get him to do all kinds of favors for you in return.  A win-win!

5.       If your child plays two instruments, have him practice one each night on an alternating basis.  Practicing two instruments every night is too hard for a 10-year old.  At least that’s what I’ve been told by an expert – my own 10-year old.

6.       If your child wrongs someone have him write a note of apology whether he thinks it is a good idea or not.  This includes a letter to his teacher if he misbehaved in class or forgot to do a project of HW.  It is unlikely you will have to give this assignment more than twice.

7.       Never, never, never give in and adjust the length of a “grounding”.  If you say “you are grounded from the Wii for one week”, you must actually hold it to a week.  If you say “you are grounded from playing with the neighbors for three days”, you have to hold it to three days.  And you should not turn the neighbors away at the door – let the child explain why he can’t play.

8.       Realize that weekends and school vacations are tough on kids.  The loss of the daily structure is a tough transition for many children.  Therefore, parents should develop a very strict schedule for their vacationing children.  Give them many jobs and chores to do.  Limit TV and video games to ½ hour each day.  Insist on two hours of daily exercise.  Your children will complain but the sound of “this is too much work” is much more pleasant than the sound of “I’M BORED!!!!!”

9.       When your child says PG-13 movies are for all ages, remind him that 13 = teen and age 10 = tween.  PG and G movies are for tweens.  And that’s that.

10.   Make sure you as the parent stay in good physical shape.  You want your lap to be readily available for those times when your big kid asks to sit on your lap and cuddle with you.  Remember, too, that 10 year olds are very heavy.  Be prepared!

I hope my wisdom helps someone else raise a successful 10-year old.  Now I am off to start all over again because my ten year old turns eleven this week and I’m pretty sure I’m going to need a whole new set of rules.  Wish me luck!

Hope you enjoyed the read!