“Don’t Make Excuses”

March 21, 2011

Today’s Bit of Advice…

“Don’t Make Excuses”

I started out blogging every day then switched to every few days.  My life of late, though, has become so busy and stressful, that I have now gone to once a week.   I can’t get the things done that are required and the blogging that I enjoy doing is a “hobby” I don’t have time to get to.  You see I have to…..  Wait!  It sounds like I was just about to make some excuses. 

Don’t make excuses.  Nobody wants to listen to them.  Nobody!

I used to be pretty good with the excuse making but I’ve made much more of an effort of late to hold myself accountable.  If I can’t do something, I say I can’t do it.  I don’t accept the challenge then look for a way to get out of it.  If I do something I shouldn’t have done, I apologize.

Last week I went to a local school where I do piano accompanying for HS students performing at our state music evaluation festival.  It was the first time I was meeting the five students I would be playing for this year.  All had been reminded of the importance of this rehearsal and were warned to have their music well prepared.  The first boy to arrive was a very friendly and personable student.  He got right to work putting together his instrument and setting up to perform.  I began the introduction and he soon joined in.  Except he wasn’t in the right place and he wasn’t playing the right notes.  We tried a few more times but the same result.  The teacher and I looked at each other knowingly and both of us thought “here is comes”. 

The student began his litany….  “I haven’t had much time to practice lately.  I’ve had lacrosse practice.  And the SAT’s are on Saturday.  All-County is coming up so I’ve been practicing for that.  And I’ve been working on the music for Jazz Band.  I had to go to church on Wednesday because it was a holy day.  And my private teacher says I should master one movement of this piece before I start the next one.  By the way, could I get a homework pass for my other teachers so I can focus on my practice for a few weeks and skip some other assignments?”

To say the room was deadly silent after the litany would be an understatement.  I think our stares and silence gave him all the information necessary.

No homework pass was granted.

The problem with excuse making is that you imply your life is somehow more important than others. You don’t have to be blamed for your inadequacies because you are more important.  Others do not have such problems and challenges that you face.  They can’t possibly understand your pain and suffering.

One of my children has a difficult time sensing the emotions of others.  She tends to be self-centered because she lacks that skill.  If she is running around outside with other children and bumps into a person, she doesn’t say “sorry” because she believes it is the other person’s fault.  We have worked with her on this for several years and the process has been slow.  She truly doesn’t think she needs to apologize for her actions unless they are intentional.  Accidental behavior is “not my fault and I don’t have to say sorry”.

No excuses though.  If your body bumps into another, apologize.  If your car runs into another, apologize.  If you lose important papers because you are holding them in your hand and a tornado rips them away, apologize.  In the end, you lost the papers. 

Don’t make excuses.  They make you look bad.  Just accept responsibility and move on.  Chances are that people will forget the situation much quicker when it’s accepted but they’ll remember your excuse making for some time to come.

Got that, Lacrosse Boy?

Hope you enjoyed the read.