January 8, 2011
Today’s Bit of Advice has two titles. You can pick the one you prefer.
1. Men will always overestimate the number of inches by at least 4.
2. The phrase “impending winter storm” does not require anyone to rush out to buy bread, milk, or toilet paper.
As I’m getting older I am finding that I prefer to stay in my house at most times, most especially in the winter. I appreciate the warmth of a cozy home and I like staying dry. Winter sports are of no interest to me but reading a book by the fire is divine. Staying home also means that I don’t have to worry about driving on slippery roads. I can watch the pretty snowflakes from my window and enjoy my life.
Unfortunately my life rarely allows me to stay home so I don’t get the luxury of staying warm, dry, or away from slippery stuff very often. I have to go out in the rain, sleet, hail, and snow just like the US Postal Service does. And I worry about it. I am a major winter worrier. I don’t need any help worrying about winter weather.
So, who helps me with my worry? Well, “the man”, of course. Not just any man. The Weather Man.
Growing up in the Northeast, we had snow in the winter. Seemed like it snowed a couple of times a week with several inches each time. Sometimes we had storms with 10+ inches. And we usually had school anyway and my mom made dinner as usual and we always had toilet paper even though my mom hadn’t been to the store in about two weeks. How was that possible?
It’s different now. If “the man” thinks there will be 3” of snow on Friday, he starts talking about it on Tuesday. He doesn’t say “there may be a few inches of snow on Friday”. No. He says “we are watching an impending winter storm for the weekend that could affect your travel plans. Stay tuned for details”. So we stay tuned. On Wednesday he says “We are still watching that winter storm for Friday and it appears we will see snow starting in the morning just in time for the commute and lasting through the day.” Think anyone is getting nervous yet? People like me who have to drive 30 minutes to work on Friday morning?
By Thursday “the man” will get more specific. He’ll tell you “We have a Winter Storm Watch in place for the entire viewing area for Friday at 6am through Saturday afternoon. The snow will move in from south to north and everyone will see snow by the time for the commute. By noon, the snow will begin to come down heavier, and you can expect treacherous driving for the commute home from work.” Then friends of “the man” (who are supposed to report the news) come on and say things like “stores have seen a rush of customers all day stocking up for this major winter storm. Many store owners report that they are running out of items like bread, milk, and toilet paper”. And you start to ask yourself why you aren’t at the store and if it’s too late for you to get all those important things. And you ask yourself if it will be safe for you to go on the roads the next day. But you have to go to work so you really start to worry about what will happen to you when you are stranded in a snow bank or get snowed in at home without the toilet paper.
Friday morning, it’s more of the same. Words like “treacherous”, “bands of heavy snow”, “stay tuned for school closures”. Words that make my blood pressure rise. So I put on my heavy boots and coat. I put my best snow brush in the car (the one with the telescoping handle so I can ready every piece of snow). I pack a bag with snacks and supplies. And I head out.
Except that there is only about an inch of snow on the ground. And driving five minutes to the south they have only ½ inch of snow on the ground. And by noon the snow is kind of wet and melting on my car. And I drive home quite safely. And now I’m annoyed because “the man” won again. He led me to believe that the end of the world had arrived. He promised me lots of inches of snow and “treacherous driving”. He made me consider cancelling my plans and staying home. “The Man” enjoys this little game we play every winter.
So I have been reminded once again that “the man” will always overestimate the number of inches by at least 4. And that promises of a winter storm do not require one to rush out to purchase necessities. You can get by with whatever you have in the house already. No milk? Drink water. No bread? Put peanut butter on some crackers. No toilet paper? Well, I’ll leave that one to your personal preference.
Life is too short to worry about the weather. As the well-loved song says “Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow”.
Hope you enjoyed the read.
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