“Put it on Paper”

April 20, 2011

Today’s Bit of Advice….

“Put it on Paper”

The Scholastic Book Fair came to the girls’ school before vacation and both girls made an extensive list of special items to purchase.  I asked them to prioritize the choices since we didn’t have $50 to spend at the book fair.  Older girl ranked her items and I was surprised to see the #1 choice was a diary.  With a lock and key.  She just had to have it!  Turns out that this item was one of the most popular items at the fair, but she got lucky and got the last diary.  I’m so pleased – she has written in that diary every night and will treasure the memories that she has recorded as she gets older.

I am a journal keeper as well.  I am in the seventh year of a ten-year journal that I write in every night before I go to sleep.  I always take the time to read the previous entries and I am reminded of things I would have otherwise forgotten.  Like the time younger girl Vaselined her entire head.  Or when oldest son fell into a huge mud pit behind my parents’ house.  Or all the crazy things middle child did and still does.  I don’t write anything that I would be embarrassed for others to read and I hope the journal will be a part of my family history.  As one of my family’s “Keeper of the Genealogy”, I know the importance of this type of history.

Another important thing to put on paper is your thanks.  My children have learned from a very young age that a thank you note is required for gifts received.  Even the youngest of children can participate in the thank you note process by telling an adult or older child what to write and then signing his name or coloring on the paper.  As my kids have gotten older, they can do more of the writing and sentence creation.  I no longer proof-read all of the notes they write.  Not all of them… just some.  I’ve also taught the children that a thank you note is still important to write even if you thanked the giver personally because a note in writing can be read over and over.  It can be enjoyed and appreciated as many times as the reader wishes to read it.  Putting it on paper is just a good thing to do.

Every “bit of advice” I write is selected for a given day because of an experience I’ve had that day or during the week.  Today’s is no exception.  I’ve made no secret of the fact that I don’t like change.  I like things to stay constant and quiet without disruptions.  We’ve lived in the same house for 14 years, I still have clothes in my closet from high school and college, I don’t change brands of food, etc.

 I’ve also attended the same church for over 40 years – and that is a very long time.

Fourteen months ago, our church was assigned a new pastor and everything began to change from the very first week of his assignment.  Like me, he also finds change uncomfortable and didn’t want to adjust to the traditions and workings of his new parish so he changed them to suit himself.  These changes have continued for the entire fourteen months and so many wonderful aspects of my church are now gone.  As we enter the Triduum of holy days today (Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and Holy Saturday/Easter Vigil), I am filled with sadness and grief over traditions now lost and new practices in place that I find unpleasant.  My family has struggled with knowing how to handle this change.  Should we stay and hope that things will improve or do we look for a new church where we feel welcomed, appreciated, and loved?

The one constant we’ve had over these fourteen months is a retired priest who was assigned to our parish for many years before his retirement and who continues to assist each weekend by saying masses.  He has not changed and his presence provides a calm at mass that helps alleviate the struggles many of us have faced.  He will be presiding at mass this evening and will participate in the ceremonial “washing of the feet” of several church members.  One of the women whose feet will be washed told me the other day that she felt guilty having him wash her feet when she would have preferred to wash his.  (Happened just like that in the Bible too with Jesus and his disciples, didn’t it?).  She wanted to tell him how special he is and that he deserved to be the one sitting in the chair so I recommended she write her thoughts in a note and send it to him.   Why?  Because, if she told him verbally, he would just downplay the sentiments.  He never allows anyone to compliment him without trying to make himself a little less than what others think he is.  He does this because he is truly a man of God who wants more for others than himself.  A note sent to his home would be for him alone and he would have to accept the love with which it was written.

I felt good about giving that advice to her.  I thought about sending him a similar type of note to let him know how much he is appreciated and needed during this difficult time in our church community.  But before I could put my thoughts in writing, he beat me to it.  I received the most wonderful, yet simple, email from him this evening.   It was sent to a group of people who he knew needed his encouragement.  He talked about all of the special aspects of the Triduum that we would experience this week – events that don’t change despite the attempts of a controlling pastor who cares only for himself.  He reminded me of why I go to church and why my faith is so important to me.  And, most of all, he told me that I would be specially remembered in his prayers and at his masses.  And he means it.    These are sentiments that should have come from our own pastor, but they didn’t.   Having someone else step up and meet the needs of the people was a blessing of great value.

His words are so special and meaningful to me.  But they carry more weight because they were written and I can read them over and over.  And every time I read them I feel more and more peace.  I’m so happy to know such a wonderful man and share this Holy Week with him.

Thanks Fr. L for putting it on paper!

Hope you enjoyed the read.