“Keep the Home Fires Burning (But Not Too Hot)”

May 30, 2011

Today’s Bit of Advice…

“Keep the Home Fires Burning (But Not Too Hot)”

It’s a short one today.  It’s been a long weekend (and lovely) weekend with much to do and I still have much to do before I sleep (in my very hot and muggy bedroom) but I wanted to leave you with this bit of advice.

It comes in two parts:

1.     Keep the Home Fires Burning –  This expression came into use during World War I and referred to families left at home while soldiers were off to war.  The soldiers needed encouragement from those at home that life there was pleasant and in good order.  Our country is still at war and there are many men and women who still need that type of support to keep going.  During World War I, the phrase was certainly more literal.  The person left behind at home had to keep that home fire burning or there would be no heat!  Today, the expression refers more to staying positive and supportive so our loved ones at war know they are thought about, prayed for, and ready to be welcomed home.  As we celebrated Memorial Day today, we remembered those who died serving our country but also those who continue to keep us safe.

2.     But Not Too Hot -  In the winter, keeping a fire burning on a cold day is a blessing.  In the summer, a fire may feel great on a camping trip when you want to roast some marshmallows or sit around telling ghost stories.  It does not, however, feel so great on an 87F day like today.  There has been very little opportunity to be “cool” in the last several days and we are looking like we will have at least two more days of temps in the upper 80’s before a cold front comes through.   We had a family picnic here today (outside) and we survived the heat, but just barely.  And my dear husband did the grilling which was obviously even hotter!  The grills were working overtime too, shooting flames all over the place and turning our hamburgers into hockey pucks.  We ate them anyway and didn’t make any comments.  He’d already been through enough.  I think our “home fire” was burning a bit too much.

On that note…. Keep the home fires burning for our troops and all those away from home.  And keep your grills under control so your hamburgers don’t turn to ash.  It’s just a good idea.

Hope you enjoyed the read.

“Model what you want”

May 22, 2011

Today’s Bit of Advice….

“Model what you want”

We had a recent experience at church that left a lasting impression on me.  A family sitting near ours created a great deal of chaos and distraction for all sitting around them.  The children played with toys and books.  They ate noisy snacks.  There was movement in and out of the pew.  But the worst part, for me anyway, was the parent who kept checking the phone for text messages, went in and out of the pew, fussed over the children, and spoke (loudly) many times to the children about their behavior.  I heard “you need to stop taking” at least 20 times.

I think the children were old enough to sit on the pew and pay attention.  They didn’t need so many props nor snacks.  But can I really blame the children for the distractions and behavior?  No.  The parent packed the bag of tricks.  The parent played with the phone.  The parent moved around incessantly.  And the parent was the one who kept talking then telling the children to stop talking.

If you want your children to display specific behaviors, you must model them first.  If the parent talks at mass, the children will talk at mass.  If the parent can’t get off the smartphone at the restaurant, the children won’t want to get off their electronic devices.  If the parent constantly spouts anti-(fill in the blank) sentiments, the child will likely speak in a similar way – I had an experience with that during the week too but that’s another blog.

Modeling the wrong behavior for children happens all the time yet the parents doing the modeling rarely see the problem in themselves.  You get what you reap.

Though I see a lot of negative modeling in my roles as an educator and fellow parent, I’ve also seen some outstanding modeling results.  Children who shake hands with adults, hold the door for others, go out of their way to help an older person.  Those things don’t happen naturally – they are learned.  Learned from good models.

I did some substitute teaching last week for a third grade class.  I’ve taught this class before and they are a really nice bunch of kids.  Sure, maybe they may all have great parents who have modeled kind behavior, but I have to believe that their teacher has something to do with it too.  Before we left the classroom to go to another activity, I asked the students to think about their behavior in the hall and what each could do to be a model to younger students.  They took my request very seriously and did a great job being quiet and polite.  They continued to do the same each time we left the room for the rest of the day.  Made my job so easy!  I was also amazed by the number of other students who stopped me in the hallway to thank me for work I had done for the school as a volunteer.  They weren’t asked to thank me (“Go over there and tell her thank you”) – they did it because they’ve seen models do it first.

It’s not hard to teach children how to behave in a way that pleases you.  Model it.  The harder thing is to make sure that you don’t teach children the wrong behaviors by accident through unintentional modeling.  Model what you want to see, not what you don’t.

In case you want to see this bit of advice at work, join me at mass next week.  I’ll show you which pew to sit in for a display.  Don’t worry about getting to mass early – I’m pretty sure that pew will be empty.   Most of us know by now that it might be better to sit elsewhere.

Hope you enjoyed the read.

Just keep pushing through

May 15, 2011

Today’s Bit of Advice is….

“Just keep pushing through”

As a mother of three children, a wife of one husband, a teacher of many, a volunteer for much, and a woman with at least fourteen jobs, I know the meaning of being tired.  Every morning when I hear the dreaded alarm clock I am shocked to realize that another day has begun so quickly after the last.  But my schedule is always full and I know that I have to keep moving so up I get.

But there are times when I really feel like I don’t have another ounce of energy.  And times when I think the projects before me require more than I have available to give.  It is at those times when I have to just keep pushing through. 

If I took the time to do the things I really wanted to do, the things I have to do would never get done.  I would really like to read books, make a quilt, write a novel, exercise, watch mindless TV, drive around and photograph the countryside.  But I have “real work” to do.  This week I had one child miss school on Monday for fever and another who came home at 11:00 on Friday day for the same thing.  Caring for sick children is “real work”.   Yesterday we had a First Communion mass and celebration for middle child.  Making the day one to remember for a lifetime was “real work”.  My in-laws are visiting and they love staying at our “B&B”.  They don’t travel much and deserve to be treated well.  My efforts to host them are “real work”.

Doing my “real work” makes me tired.  But I have to keep pushing through.

This week I am chairing a huge fundraiser for the local school.  I got the job because I came up with the idea when all other ideas failed.  If you are going to share an idea, you have to be prepared to be given the job.  I know the day will be splendid – I have the support and help of wonderful teachers and parents.  But my evenings will be long in preparations, my nights will be filled with anxious dreams, and my days will be full of work.  This is “real work” I’m doing that will benefit the 215 children who attend this special school.  So what if I get tired?  I can nap next week.   Maybe.  In the meantime, I’ll just keep pushing through.

I know there will come a day when my children are grown and no longer need my thermometer or fundraising skills.  I’ll retire from teaching and my principal will hire a new music teacher to take my spot.  My in-laws will live in a new dimension where every day is like staying at a special B&B.  I’ll have time to read books, make quilts, write a novel, exercise, watch mindless TV, and photograph the countryside.  I just hope I can fit all that in between my volunteering, helping others, and showing hospitality to my children and grandchildren.  Hmmmm….maybe “real work” doesn’t take a retirement after all.

I guess I’ll just keep pushing through.

Hope you enjoyed the read.

“Put your best foot forward”

May 7, 2011

Today’s Bit of Advice is….

“Put your best foot forward”

I’ve been thinking a lot about feet over the last few weeks.   Not “feet” as in a collection of twelve inches, but the ones on the ends of my legs.  For most of my life I have ignored my feet and not given them credit for all that they do.  A sprain to my foot in college, a bout with plantar fasciitis two years ago, and a recent injury have been exceptions to those times.   Feet are pretty important and you realize that when one or both of them are giving you a problem.

My injury of a few weeks ago occurred because I didn’t take the time to put on my shoes before preparing dinner.  I like to be barefoot (another reason for the plantar fasciitis) especially when I’m in the house.  On the night of the injury I was preparing a pasta dinner for my family.  When the time came to drain the pasta, some of the boiling water splashed back out of the sink on me.  The water that hit my clothes didn’t cause a problem, but the water the fell on my foot was another story.  I sustained a 2^nd degree burn on the top of my right foot that came to an instant blister, then popped leaving me with a shortage of skin.  OUCH was only one of the words that came out of my mouth!

Three weeks later and I am about ready to start wearing shoes again.  Not because I haven’t wanted to wear them but because I couldn’t put my foot into a normal shoe.  Flip-flops have been more constant companion – finding flip-flops that coordinate with your Easter best was a challenge but I did find them. 

I am ready again now to put my best foot and my “not-so-good” foot forward.

But that isn’t the real meaning of the phrase “put your best foot forward.  It means to present yourself in the best way possible.  Sometimes your best won’t be as good as what others have available to give but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try.  Always give your best and that will be enough.

I was recently offered the opportunity to spearhead a large fundraising event.  With no experience in this arena I’ll admit that I’m a bit nervous as to the outcome.   I know in my mind that the event will be wonderful and we will raise lots of money.  But I also know all the things that could go wrong or be problematic.  Those are the things that are keeping me up at night.  But I am putting my best foot forward and working hard to make sure that anything I can control is well planned, well prepared, and well executed.  If problems occur (and a few that are beyond my control will likely happen), I will be comforted in knowing that I’ve given the very best of what I have.  My best foot will have been put forward.

In fact, I’m hoping to have two best feet by then.

Hope you enjoyed the read.

To celebrate or not to celebrate?

May 2, 2011

Today’s Bit of Advice…

“To celebrate or not to celebrate?”

This bit of advice is difficult for me to write because it covers one of the three topics you don’t discuss if you like to avoid controversy – money, religion, and politics.  I’ve noticed that I cover religion fairly frequently but I try to do it in a way that won’t spark debate.  Money is one I can usually keep calm as well.  But, politics?  That’s a tough one for me to write on because I am quite conservative, a bit opinionated, and convinced my beliefs are right (aren’t we all?  LOL)

I’ll start with this statement:  Death is sad.  Death is hard.  Death is a time of grieving. But death is also joyful.  Death is a time for celebration.

That seems to be a statement of conflict but that is only because death affects two different groups of people: the person who has died and those who are left behind.  For those who remain in life, the death of a loved one is sad and difficult, full of grief because we feel the loss in our own lives and hearts.  It is normal to feel sad for one’s self in the time of loss.  But, for those of us who have great faith that heaven is real and life with the Lord is to be desired, the knowledge that a loved one has finished the earthly portion of their life and has moved to live in eternal splendor is joyful.  And we can celebrate the life of that person with peace in our hearts, knowing that his or her new life in heaven is filled with love.

Death is a time for celebration.

But death and murder and not synonymous.

Murder is not a time for celebration. 

Our world is full of wonderful people but also full of evil.  We have a responsibility to keep ourselves safe from that evil and, sometimes, that means that humans must take life from others.  God does not condone murder, nor does he condone evil.  But I believe that He does not punish the good when they must take life from those who perform evil acts, impose terror on others, and threaten the lives of the innocent. 

The murder of Osama Bin Laden brings relief to all who lived in fear of his terror and evil acts.  His death protects the innocent.  But it is not a time for celebration.  Those who dance in the streets and celebrate this day as a “sweet revenge” are celebrating a murder.  I am pretty sure that Bin Laden will not pass in death to heaven – at least not the heaven I believe God has in store for all who live in his image.  If hell exists (and I’m not fully convinced of that yet), there is likely a special little room for him there.  While we celebrate the passing of a loved one from life on earth to life in heaven, the murder and passing of an evil leader to hell is not a time for celebration. 

It’s hard to watch the celebrations of Bin Laden’s murder on television and in the newspaper.  We are better people than that.  We can be relieved that his reign of terror is over or at least diminished.  We can sleep better at night knowing that his evil has been stopped.  But to rejoice that good men from our military forces had to murder another human is not what I believe is to be celebrated.

A priest (formerly of my parish) used to end a good homily with “That is all I have to say.   Is there anything you’d like to say?”  I hope you’ve taken my words in the spirit in which they were written.  I try to stay away from those three risky topics as much as possible, but this blog post needed to be put on paper and shared.

Thanks for the read.